Halloween in my Lowry neighborhood is absolute insanity with the number of trick-or-treaters that come to our door. We live on a main artery for the subdivision, so we get more kids than almost any neighborhood in Lowry. Every year, we buy three large bags of candy from Costco – each with 250 pieces in each bag – and Mrs. Snark finds other tchotchkes around the house to supplement the candy. So overall about 800 pieces to distribute; one piece per kid. And every year, without fail, we run out of candy before the 8 p.m. trick-or-treating deadline. An “Out of Candy” sign is a necessity to have on hand to tape to the front door when the candy supply is exhausted.
I have begged Mrs. Snark to go dark for years and have a nice dinner out instead but to no avail. She refuses to do that because it’s one of her favorite “holidays”. Sometimes she even dresses up in costume. So, I give in to her wishes but leave the burden of passing out candy to her except for bio breaks. I know, TMI.
While Mrs. Snark hands out candy, I settle in front of the TV in the family room with a drink and watch some sporting event. After a couple of drinks, I get into full-on snark mode and begin to have some fun at the expense of the trick-or-treaters. This entails opening the Ring Doorbell app on my phone that has video and audio capabilities and “interacting” with the kids by saying things like “Get off my porch!”, “Dress up next year.” or “You’re too old to trick-or-treat.” Some of the kids try to cover up the Ring doorbell with their free hand or tell me to be quiet. Mrs. Snark tells the kids, “Just ignore him. He’s a curmudgeon.”
Many of the kids that trick-or-treat on our street do not live in the neighborhood and I’m completely fine with that as almost all the kids dress up in really creative costumes and they are very polite … almost always saying thank you and Happy Halloween. In reality, Halloween in Lowry is actually a pretty fun night.
The aftermath of Halloween is the downside though as the neighborhood is littered with Halloween trash; tons of it. You see the usual fare – candy wrappers, unwanted dum-dum suckers, pencils, etc. – which is not a surprise. I can’t begrudge a kid for having a Snickers, Reese’s or KitKat to get a dose of sugar and a burst of energy to forge on. But what I find totally maddening are the beer cans/bottles, mini liquor bottles and dozens of red Solo cups strewn throughout the neighborhood. And I understand parents having a cold one as you accompany your kid(s) on a fun night for them, but you don’t need to throw the cans, bottles and cups in someone’s yard or the street; be respectful. There are plenty of trash receptacles throughout the neighborhood for these items. Last year, someone even left an unopened can of Coors Light in my driveway. If it had been a Hazy IPA, I may have actually kept it but Coors Light … hard pass.
The upside to the trash debacle of Halloween 2024 is that it gave birth to my Litter Free Lowry career. Every month, without fail, I pick up trash in the Lowry neighborhood. My litter area is Alameda to Lowry Blvd and Quebec to Fairmont. It’s an expansive area and takes me four to five hours to complete, but it gives me great satisfaction that I’m doing something positive for the community, and I get plenty of exercise to boot … generally walking seven or eight miles.
I almost always receive thank-you comments from neighbors. I once had a woman stop her SUV on Quebec St, rolled down her window and started gushing about how great it was that I was picking up litter. I told her, “You’re welcome, but you better move along before someone rear-ends your vehicle”.
And the job doesn’t pay well. In fact, it doesn’t pay at all, but I have found $5 and change and a couple of nice tools over the course of the year. I also found a 16 year-old kid’s driver’s license and mailed it to him with a note requesting him to pay it forward by doing a random act of kindness for someone else.
Some of the stranger items that I’ve picked up: men’s underwear in the curb gutter on two separate occasions (like how did it get there?) and a toddler’s shoe in the Quebec St. gutter. I don’t touch any of the litter that I collect and always use the grabbers. Some things that I refuse to pick up: dead animals and pet feces even if it’s bagged. I have standards people.
The irony of doing litter pickup is that as a kid, I was a major litterbug. The worst. My mother, Momma Snark, totally despised litter and if she saw me litter it then she would scold me, pick it up and beg me not to do it again. So as a member of Litter Free Lowry, I guess that I’m atoning for past transgressions.
When I started in November 2024, there were only four of us picking up trash in Lowry on a regular basis – myself, Karolyn Snow, Dwight Willis and a guy Chuck. Then in March 2025, Dwight approached the LUN Board with the great idea of recruiting more neighbors into the effort and the LUN Board approved, organized and funded the project.
From there, Denny Head – aka Sparty – took the reins and made it all happen. Sparty was able to procure 50 five-gallon buckets at no cost from Food Bank of the Rockies – where many of us volunteer on a monthly basis – and LUN provided funding for the litter grabbers and safety vests. Then Sparty put his marketing skills to work and got the word out to Lowry neighbors for a Litter Free Lowry kickoff meeting at Montclair Rec Center where buckets, vests and grabbers were provided for free to anyone who wanted to join the cause. Walter’s 303 pizza was provided as incentive to recruit new members and the response was overwhelming. Forty-five people signed up that day!
It was so successful that 9News got wind of the event and asked for an interview with Dwight and Sparty to discuss how it all got started and how they were able to get so many people involved. The 9News video was featured on all of their news telecasts a couple days after the Montclair event, so it was great PR for Lowry and the litter team.
There was one minor glitch, however. In the video clip, they showed Sparty picking up trash with one arm behind his back. After the initially airing of the video clip on 9News, Kyle “Snarky” Clark (no relation) made a comment to his co-anchor, “Did you see that? This guy can pick up trash with one arm behind his back. Amazing.” Well, Sparty didn’t take too kindly to the snarky comment so he called 9News on the matter.
While not privy to the conversation between Sparty and Snarky Clark, I was on the receiving end of a salty reprimand from Sparty in the past for raising the snarkiness to levels that he deemed excessive. My guess is that the come-to-Jesus salvo that Sparty launched on Snarky Clark went something like this: “Listen jackass, I didn’t appreciate the one arm behind the back comment. I do that because I have a lower back injury and putting my arm behind my back provides pain relief. I already receive a steady stream of snarkiness from Snarky Mark so I don’t need you to pile on. Give it a rest. Capisce?!”
And it worked; Snarky Clark never made the comment again on later airings of the video clip that night. And as a bonus, Channel 7 News picked up on the story a day later and the Litter Free Lowry team got even more positive PR.
And Litter Free Lowry is still gaining strength. Just last month, LUN Board member Olivia Merrill made a recruiting pitch to Lowry Elementary and Stanley British Primary schools to establish student-led litter teams and both schools agreed. Buckets, grabbers and vests were distributed to the schools and we now have students that are part of the solution versus being part of the problem. You rock, Olivia!
In closing, if you are not a member of the Litter Free Lowry team then please consider joining. It doesn’t have to be a large area, and you don’t have to do it on a regular basis. Do it whenever you feel like it. And if you decide that it’s just not for you then I make one small plea: just keep the area in front of the place where you live litter free. If everyone does that small task then we have a much cleaner and more beautiful neighborhood. Small actions; big impact.